Mrs. Martens was in a hurry this afternoon and didn’t have time to extract the necessary cream from her dairy cow Daisy. Instead, she made her schmaunt fat using the skim milk she had in the fridge.

ELKHART, IN Fed up with meagre salaries that barely pay the rent, Mennonite pastors across the nation have been sporting snazzy new T-shirts as a form of protest. “It’s bad enough he’s wearing such ...

This summer, the City of Winnipeg has been luring hesitant rural folks into the big city the only way they know how – knocking 20 cents off at the gas pump. “I feel it’s entrapment, to be honest,” ...

A Jeopardy! clue this past week has made two Mennonite mayors world famous. Abbotsford mayor Ross Siemens and Winkler mayor Henry Siemens were mentioned in the clue, which had contestants stumped. “I ...

In an effort to “balance religious freedoms with the need to protect our children,” the Alberta Ministry of Edumacation has decided to churn out snazzy new Bibles that exclude anything that might be ...

It’s the boldest change to airport security requirements in more than twenty years–starting this weekend, Mennonites will no longer be required to remove their socks and sandals when passing through ...

HARRISONBURG, VA In a shocking turn of events in the seeming never-ending Epstein saga, the complete uncensored Epstein files were found in the “Something Special” display case at a local second hand ...

Area man Johan Kroeker stopped by his local farm implements dealership looking for an upgrade to his 1893 Massey Harris. “Yeah, well, I figured it was time,” said Kroeker. “My Martha even told me, ...

WINKLER, MB Area woman Olga Sawatzky, 61, is very impressed with her garden this year and says she’s especially excited to be one-quarter of a popular Simon and Garfunkel song. “Not that I listen to ...

SWIFT CURRENT, SK After a nice stretch of warm weather and a lot of rain, the Swift Current dill harvest is already upon us. “It’s early this year, but that just means the pickles will be extra dilly, ...

A goat at the Mennonite Heritage Village in Steinbach was just awarded the Cutest Animal in Southern Manitoba award this week. “I’m speechless,” said the goat. “There was a lot of competition this ...

Beloved blue-haired mother-of-three Marge Simpson will be buried this week in a family plot near Herbert, Saskatchewan. “We ask that the public is respectful at this time of mourning for the Simpson ...